Its the end of my another phase in life. Everytime there's a new start in life, people should be excited right? However, I don't know why this time round, I don't feel excited. I feel rather scare. Fear is back in my heart towards studies really. I know I shouldn't take things so hard, brood about the past, but certain things just hunt me back for no reason.

I can be very relaxed at work, no stress no nothing. In fact, I am happier when I am working! I can handle things very well at work really. But whenever comes to studies and love, these two are like my weakness..我的致命伤。。 My emotions all that will start coming negatively which is very bad.

My dear colleagues I will miss all of you. Hope your enjoy and loved the cards and chocolates I given to you ppl. Shall keep in touch with all of you..


My CCS team ppl..
Valerie(team leader), Chloe, Chi Mee, Me, Agnes, Irene aka Soo Fen and Jeslin aka Lay Guat


Credit Admin Dept.

Thanks ppl for making feel like a family der.
My HOD - Winnie san (Capable woman)
Kadelyn - the kan cheong lady, love chilli a lot like me
Valerie - my team leader aka Jurong Sister!
Irene - My dear soo fen jiejie, haha.. =p alwaz der for me, advices in life etc.
Apple - My another sister.. haha.. cute lil apple
Chi Mee - Alwaz listening my happening stories after wkends.  Be more confident my dear partner!
Chloe - alwaz work till stress de, cool down!
Agnes - the wonderful mother worrying her daughters alwaz
Jeslin - transfer to CCS team.. haha.. so stress now.
Shareen - Take care of your health k? Dun drink soo much cold water k?
Jes - the pretty one
Lit Yi - take cares~ alwaz sick.
Kai Li - brings laughter to us.

I really love all of u.

Feeling quite emotional when i leaving the office.
A brand new start on Monday!!  excited..? hahah seriously no.. Fear is more.
Jia you ba Maureen...

mentally tireds. losing myself seriously.......
where's maureen o?!? haha~
Wat m i reali tired abt? I really dunno..
its really a very emo night..

Met up with my dearest at NTUC xtra at about 3pm? Haha, rush rush rush.. reached home, seeing her so kan cheong makes me anxious for her too.. lol.. seems like marrying ar~ kekes.. this girl aso last min la, like me like tt.. kekes.

I think you really enjoyed a lot, thou I noe lots of preparation to do and stress over abt it.. hee~ at least is a nice ending =)
You look gorgeous my dear~
Pictures shall post up when I get evrything =)

Hang out with the peeps after that till 4+? =) den home sweet home.

If only, we change our character for the better.
If only, we don't control too much.
If only, we should be more understanding.
If only, .... there are really too many IF ONLYs and WE SHOULD.

However, we are just human beings. We make mistakes don't we? Who is ever perfect?
We should try to accept the imperfections and compromise each other isn't it?

Love... reali make a person change a lot..
Love can make a person very happy
and.. the next minute sink deeply.
Love can make a person change for the better
and... change for the worst.
Love has an amazingly affection between two people..
爱情是看缘分。

Love is a vulnerable thing.
So couples out there please TREASURE each other like there's no tomorrow.
Compromise, give and take, don't take each other's affection and love for granted.
Please be responsible for every actions or every words you do or say.
Please don't regret when you start to lose the person.
Whenever things start to turn sour, or whenever there's any minor problem or unhappiness say it out. You may never know this minor unhappiness may lead to a big problem after accumulation.
Communication is the key to an everlasting couple. To me, I feel that communication really very important. Probably, certain things are hard to say through the mouth, one probably can express it through a letter or an email.

Another key is TIMING. Timing is very important. Certain things, maybe you start to change for the better, but mayb just within that snap of minute, everything may just turn sour and may not be able to salvage anymore. Everything maybe just too LATE.

This post is really dedicated to all my close friends. I wanna admit what are my feelings and everything.

After 12th july 2009 (Sunday night).. woohoo.. after a wonderful nice celebration of sat which i really enjoyed. here comes..

I logged into fb and saw the newsfeed. "From Single to in a relationship"
I really stare blankly at the moment, and my heart juz sank, 酸酸的。。
I am aware this news will appear sooner or later, is been 3 yrs plus plus le.. so i should actually feel okay le rite? BUT eventually NO! 
My heart immediately sank and tears just start to trickle. And again, I have to do stg bad to stop myself from tearing. Marks again..
I felt my heart like stop at that period of time, whenever I breathe in, I could feel a sharp acute pain in it. Terrible, very hate this feeling.
Its been a long time since i felt this way again. But, is my wrong la.. cuz after the relationship ends, I been indulge myself with work work and work, juz to immune myself, i didnt face the fact. Yes, I succeeded in immuning myself, and so...? when this news strike, it attacks badly and hurtly to the weak heart of mine. 

是我一相情愿，怪不了任何人。。
我也从没怪你，是我自己一直想在你身边，无论你是开心也好，悲伤也好。。只要我能够与你度过每一个喜怒哀乐的时分，我就感到幸福。
只要你需要我的时候，我真的想立刻冲向你的身傍。( 我很傻吧！haha.. )
在这个时候，理智上我是替你开心的。
我也应该开心和解脱的，因为我们的关系从去年又是不清不楚的。
终于，我能彻彻底底地放下你了吧。。我真的该死心了。
但，我的内心世界是充满了泪水。(not say press delete can just delete away all the memories, haha)

I really never wish for anything when we parted, and when our relationship gets complicated, neither do I pin any hopes. I just let nature takes its course whenever i meet you, I just felt a light of happiness. But good things will never last long.

13th july..
woo..I took leave. I don't know its just nice or what. Felt even worst when I rec'd SIM message regarding that was the last day to register my modules and timetable. And once again, I totally blank, didnt know what to do.. haha very sua gu like tt.. haha.. Faster called SIM helpdesk and get help.. and tada~ oo lucky evrything is done. Gonna study these days.. Mon, Tues and Fri =) hees.. finally can start to find my part time job soon, but I hope I can have a good rest and recharged b4 I get back to work again. I think this time round, I really got to recharge myself well, its been years that I been tiring myself out no matter is physically or mentally.
And also, my health, been promising my mum and my close friends I will take care and guai guai c doctor. But I fail to do so, sorry..
But, as promised, I will guai guai de go c doc and take my medication until I am fully recover =)

After settling evrything, its time for me to get ready to meet my dear Jesslyn le. Suppose to buy the bally wallet as the fuhua peeps had given me ang baos.. However, when I went der and I realise the price was $560. I felt a bit too ex lei.. thus I forgo the idea in getting it.. I will find a cheaper wallet and nicer ones ba =) Then, we walked ard to see things that can be put in my dear jess coming bday the wishlist. Hmm... got some idea wat to get le, but got to hunt for nicer ones first =) hees.. After which, we went wisma starbucks sit down to chit chat.. and again my tears trickle. sighs.. i reali cant control man!! feeling super down, hating myself time and time again why i m like tis.
Time flies.. and is night again. I dun wish to go home cuz i dont wanna my parents see me this manner, eyes was quite swollen and things like tt. Thus, jess pei me throughout the night. Thanks dear, and you called my '王子' over too.. haha.. very very funny. Thanks my two dears accompanying me throughout the whole night and they are the first to wish me Happy 21st bday! =)
And thanks hu those hu msg/call me to wish me as well!
Finally this time, when strike 12am I didnt cry, cuz in de past 3 yrs, after since me and u parted, I been crying once strike at 12am!
And that night, me xiang and jess talked, crapped, laughed, they trying to cheering me up. I will alwaz rmb this day.. Emo emo, den turn turn hands, moving forward .. haha i really try this method the next day. Then the story of you are my angel/princess, i am your wang zi... haha.. reali a lovely night!
(and this i realise i love the feeling chatting evrything, emo-ing, laughing away at the playground with friends)

14th july..
probably, its a new start for me in life ba =)
a brand new phrase in life! I must fully treasure evryone around me, and be happy each day.
got to go through strongly no matter how bad things may occur.
got to be more confident in myself? haha..
still healing in progress. trying to control my tears and evrything.

15th july to 17th july..
still feeling as down... didnt wanna go home on friday. Bran qio me for mahjong, but i didnt have the mood to play. Thus went drinking with him and jing kun. Suggested at my house downstairs, cuz i still got vodkas at home. However, bran wanna go double O~ so we went der.. Played game and loser drank.. oo phew.. lucky i nv keep losing.. haha! first round bran order 9 shots and 1 jug redbull? we each drank 3 shots. After that, the siao siao bran called another 9 shots, 1 jug cranberry and 1 jug redbull again, me and kun almost fainted.. lol! den kun went ard, and left me and bran. bran played game wif me.. eee.. he tricked me! humph.. yea lastly, when kun back, we tgt drank de last shot each. We total drank 6 shots, i was still feeling alright den. but after a while o no.. big big droplets of water is here.. haha.. thanks kun for lending his shoulder. Realli long this 'rain' haha.. after that, o no.. i cant walk str. man! i was still talking normally wif them, i knew where am i etc.. but i juz duno y i cant walk str..
xy told me cannot cry after drink de, sure will drunk and my dear jess told me effects will take place de.. I had learnt my lesson really. Thru this night, I kiap my finger till swollen like pig finger.. hahaha.. still pain till now.

Thanks kun and bran... thks for sendin me home bran, and accompanying me outside my house ensuring i am okay and my safety b4 leaving.
To kun: dun so fan abt it aldy k? hope u and her will slowly work things out and be happy again..
To bran: pls dun play play liao.. get serious wif one alright? =)

18th july..
went out wif two of my gfs. sorry my two dears. I still haven really okays, as i nv slept much and meet u gals. Sorry if i look a bit tired and things like tt.. Thanks for your the understanding. And hope your had a great shopping time tt day. hees..
Reached home, chatted wif my parents.. Thanks my lovely parents, esp. my mum, been there for me alwaz.. =)
Had a great chat wif my parents tt day.

19th july..
went out a while wif my mummy and went back home after that. tireds!
Admit to xiang that i went drink.. o no, he almost didnt wanna to chat wif me.. sorry As wat i had said.. i promise u reali.. no such incident will repeat again. 你又气又关心我的！=）haha.. very funny tt time.. kekes.. dun angry wif me le okay? =) thanks for care and concern..
thanks dione mei for concerning me =) to tell u jiejie is okay, i will be lying to u.. kekes.. but rest assured i will be fine =) We are still sisters alright.. anything u can find me to share wif me alright? =) hees... gd luck for your o levels k? den shall meet u soon wif your mum! hees..

20th july..
woohoo.. a brand new wk.. my colleagues say o~ maureen different le o!! will talk le wor, will smile le o..haha.. is reali different from last week and this day. I guess i really succeed in getting out part of it le.. I even tried to see your two the pictures.. haha, thou heart still hurt a lil, but i sincerely happy for u =) 祝你永远的幸福快乐！
during work, tian called. my dear met a small accident. Hope you are fine, anything inform me alright regarding the money tgy.
after work, went massage wif my dear xy at fareast. Thanks for the complimentary relaxing treat.. haha.. and shall go to fareast subway again k? i noe u love der.. haha!
back home, chatted wif my beloved jess. she told me how she felt the whole tg when i go drink. Sorry my dear. As i said to you ya, i promise all of u i will be fine =) give me a bit time for my heart to heal. hehe.. thanks dear for listening out to me.
and chatted wif chio bu yy a while, thanks for concerning me too =)

21st july..
Rec'd a msg from fann wong aka sze ying.. haha.. thanks! yr msg reali make me felt warmth.

My dear friends,
Sorry, I tink i realli make you all worry. But i really didnt mean it, i didnt wanna make myself drunk.. i swear i reali didnt wanna to jie jiu xiao chou.. I know many of u are shocked, surprised and cannot accept it as to you, I all along is sensible (probably i been keeping evrything myself all this while and cannot take it le thus lead to this way) and able to handle things properly.. I tink reali like some of u had said, mayb this thing had really greatly impacted me, thats y i react this way.. Mayb partially yes, I am really down, but another part is I wanna try out going to such places. I know some of you are upset, disappointed and even angry with me. Really sorry.. I promise u ppl, this is my first and last time. I will not do such stupid tg again, i will noe my limits.
I wanna tell these to all my friends and my parents that are supporting, going thru wif me me, and cheering me up this period of time a BIG THANKS! I love all of you ppl.. Your are alwaz der for me when I am down. Sending me text msges to ask how am I etc.. I am really touched.. Really thanks.. lots of gratitude left in my heart that are hard to describe.. 欣慰。。
and really sorry that I had made your worry. Dun worry ya, I will be strong and a Maureen full of smiles again =)

1.       Espirit Watch

Model Number: Q9TIMUJ

Colour: White
Price: $135 (before discount)

After 20 – 25% discount: $101 - $108
Destination: City Chain outlets, vincent watch etc..

2.       DKNY Watch

Model Number: NY4302 

Colour: Silver

Price: $245 (before discount)

After 20% - $196

Destination: OG (Orchard), not sure whether bugis OG had the colour.

http://www.thewatchhut.co.uk/the-watch-hut/DKNY/dkny-ladies/DKNY-Ladies-Fashion-Watch-NY4302.html --> the design (picture)
taken.. thanks! =)
 

3.       Braun Buffel Wallet

Model Number: T3-303RP

Colour: Orange or Black
Description: Long wallet (not 3/4) horizontal vague lines.. not the checker de..

Price: $149 (before discount)

Destination: Takashimaya

 OR
Bally Wallet
Color: Pink
Description: Long Wallet
Price: $500
Destination: Ngee Ann City

4.       Japanese brand Lipstick

Colour: Milky Pink
Price: $21.90 (before discount)
Destination: Watson

5.       Japanese brand Facial Product (Cure)
Price: $38 (before discount)
Destination: Watson

6.     House phone
Model: GE2 9650
Price: $69.90
Color: Black and Silver
Destination to buy: Courts

7.    St Louis Bag
Model: 1310
Color: Coffee
Price: $228 (After discount: $164.15)

8.     Ang baos and more ang baos! =)

If can give me ang bao pls!! hahaa =p cuz i may wanna buy my bally wallet! woo.. haha thks thks.